


A Year Ago We Kissed

by deeinthetardis



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Kissing, Meddling TARDIS, Self-Insert, Singing, TARDIS Rooms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 23:51:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16984137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deeinthetardis/pseuds/deeinthetardis
Summary: A year ago you lost The Doctor. A year ago you thought The Doctor was dead. A year ago he kissed you.But now a year has went by and he has a new, older face. Does he still have the same feelings he did a year ago?





	A Year Ago We Kissed

You peek out from behind a burgundy curtain, viewing the crowd of at least 500 people. You take a deep breath and straighten out your white gown, your hand easing down your thigh. The last song of the night. It was a perfectly elegant affair of course, in celebration of an engagement. Did people really do this for a simple engagement? You knew these people were important -- politicians -- but shouldn’t this kind of thing be reserved for the wedding? They must have dropped tens of thousands of dollars on this.

You drew a sharp breath in, walking out to the crowd. As you step in front of the microphone, you exhale. People are clapping, excited to hear your voice again. All you ever do is perform nowadays. There would be nothing else to do. 

There are jobs in space, but you don’t think you could stomach going on any other spaceship but the tardis. Office jobs, HR. If you talked to U.N.I.T. you’d have any job you wanted. Maybe even captain a ship of your own. But you, like The Doctor, weren’t one to call in favors.

Your voice had never failed you before, and The Doctor was the one that encouraged you to perform for the first time. You had always been scared, shy. Crowds freaked you out, but now you flourished in them.

As the music started, it flowed through you. The people who hired you didn’t want to hear any of your original songs, so you created your own playlist. Your own band that traveled with you looked to you, and gave a small smile of encouragement. 

_ “Blue hydrangea, cold cash divine _

_ Cashmere, cologne and white sunshine” _

You looked out to the crowd once again. This was your favorite part. Their reactions to your voice. They stopped almost mid-sentence, putting their martinis down to watch you.    


_ “Red racing cars, sunset and vine _

_ The kids were young and pretty _

_ Where have you been? _

_ Where did you go?” _

A gust of wind blew in, your gown flowing. You gripped the microphone, thinking about everything this song reminded you of.

_ “Those summer nights seem long ago _

_ And so is the girl you used to call _

_ The queen of New York City” _

Your memory flashed back to the year 2059, New York City. Prohibition was a normalcy once again, and as you, The Doctor, and the biggest name in New York drank tequila out of the bottle, you watched The Doctor tip his head back to laugh at a joke he made. Detailing one of their adventures, of course.

_ “But if you send for me, you know I'll come _

_ And if you call for me, you know I'll run _

_ I'll run to you, I'll run to you _

_ I'll run, run, run _

_ I'll come to you, I'll come to you _

_ I'll come, come, come _

_ Oh-oh oh, oh-oh oh” _

But it all got so bad so fast. The Daleks had come for you. The Doctor was already a target, but when you turned half of their race half human, they told you it was genocide. The Daleks were split right down the middle, and it was your fault. Two warrior races going to war with each other. The Doctor praised you for it of course, like he did when you did anything brave and stupid. But there was a price on both of your heads, and it didn’t help you were traveling with the archenemy of The Daleks. 

_ “The power of youth is on my mind _ _  
_ _ Sunsets, small town, I'm out of time” _

Your voice rang out to the crowd, but your mind was elsewhere. One moment you were all tanned, browner than usual because you had spent a week in the Andaza mountains with The Doctor. You were in your happy place once again. With The Doctor. You could be in the mountains, on an alien planet with sugar for sand, back in your hometown or sitting in the tardis, it didn’t matter. Your happy place was him. He was home. Suddenly you went from leaning on the tardis console to being forced out of The Doctor’s spaceship.

_ “Will you still love me when I shine _

_ From words but not from beauty” _

You had asked where you were, but The Doctor was lost for words. “This can’t be real,” he muttered, a look of pure shock on his face. A look you had never seen before.

_ “My father's love was always strong _

_ My mother's glamour lives on and on _

_ Yet still inside, I felt alone _

_ For reasons unknown to me” _

You asked him repeatedly where we were because there was only one other time you were this scared. When you had both landed on Gallifrey when you both thought it was completely lost. That no one could ever come back. 

“Are we on Gallifrey, Doctor?”

_ “But if you send for me, you know I'll come _

_ And if you call for me, you know I'll run” _

“No. Just the opposite. Skaro.” 

His voice was shaking. The Doctor’s voice never shook. He looked at you with something in his eyes you had never seen before that day. “I might never get a chance -”

“Exterminate The Doctor and his companion!” Daleks voices sounded from all around, shouting orders.

The Doctor grabbed your waist, pulling him close to you. You couldn’t react before his lips met yours. It was rushed, but his lips didn’t slam against yours. It was soft. Passionate. But it was also a goodbye.

“Run! Run to the tardis, now!” he yelled, letting go of you. Your eyes widened as laser beams were shooting everywhere your eyes could see. You turned your back, running as fast as you could into those big blue doors. Why didn’t you grab his hand like you usually did?

_ “I'll run to you, I'll run to you _

_ I'll run, run, run _

_ I'll come to you, I'll come to you _

_ I'll come, come, come _

_ Oh-oh oh, oh-oh oh” _

As you looked back, attempting to run to The Doctor to help him into the tardis, a beam shot through his stomach. You screamed in horror, about to run after him as he hit the floor when the tardis doors slammed shut and started dematerializing. 

_ “And if you call I'll run, run, run _

_ If you change your mind, I'll come, come, come _

_ Oh-oh oh, ah-ah ah” _

For a year now you hadn’t seen your Doctor. For a year you had been separated, and for a year you hadn’t stepped into the tardis. Every night you had slept there, you talked to her. Thanked her for getting you where you needed to go. For protecting both you and The Doctor when you needed it the most. But she wasn’t there that day. And you feared The Doctor was dead. You knew you had a part to play in that.

_ “Blue hydrangea, cold cash divine _

_ Cashmere, cologne and hot sunshine” _

A tear escaped your eye.

_ “Red racing cars, sunset and vine _

_ And we were young and pretty” _

As the crowd wildly clapped, blurting out compliments, you wiped your tear. “Thank you,” you said softly into the microphone.

You looked out into the crowd, watching each person your eyes landed on. You admittedly loved to do this. Even just going to the park, sitting on a bench, and summing each person up. You could usually tell what kind of job they had, if they were married, and if they enjoyed the kind of life they led. But then again, maybe you just liked to imagine. 

Each one of these people were born into rich and successful families. But in this day and age that meant you had to give back. Nothing like when you were born. At least the tardis had the kindness to land you in a time where everyone wasn’t so greedy.

You gave a small smile and exited the stage to find a man with grey hair holding flowers. A bouquet of sunflowers and roses. Your favorite. How did he know that?

“Y/N.” His eyes flowed over your figure, then back up to your eyes. “You did amazing.”

“Uhm, do I know you?” You shifted onto one heel, your fingers moving around. It’s what they always did when you were nervous. Even though this felt like an ambush, there was something so familiar about him.

“Y-Yes.” By the look of him, you’d think I punched him in his soul. “I’m…

“Doctor,” you let out a gasp of shock and stepped back. 

“I found you. Finally.”

You took the flowers from him, setting them down on the chair next to you and wrapping him in a tight hug. You couldn’t help the tears that escaped from your eyes. “A year, Doctor.” You finally let go of him. “How did you get back? I have the tardis.”

“Cheap and nasty time travel.” He gave you a small chuckle and showed you what was on his wrist. “Anything to get back to you.”

##  Four months later  
  


By some miracle, The Doctor found you again. You had been traveling with him in the tardis for four months, and each adventure was more risky than the next. Just the way you two had liked it. You had been craving danger. No longer could you sit in your apartment and refresh Twitter for the thousandth time. You packed up all of your things within 20 minutes and headed into the tardis.

Four months goes by quickly even though you had savored each moment. You thought that the kiss had something attached to it, but you didn’t know anymore. Was it really just a goodbye? A spur of the moment thing? A mistake?

He had said nothing to you about it. No romantic notions had been said. There was only misadventures and new friends. Two of them being Vastra and Jenny. He had introduced them to you a few weeks ago while investigating a possible alien invasion. It was quiet, covered up. He told you that this would take you longer than usual. You had told him that you didn’t mind, Victorian London looked good on you.

You looked in the mirror, making sure your corset was tight enough. Madame Vastra appeared in front of the mirror and you smiled. She had a tendency to sneak up on you. “Hi, Vastra.” You grabbed the tube of lipstick, spreading it over your lips. It was only a shade lighter than your deep brown skin tone. 

“You look simply a picture.” She smiled back into the mirror. “But I didn’t just come in here to compliment you. We need to talk.”

“Of course.” You turned around, leaning both hands on the vanity. “Is everything okay?” 

She sat down on your bed, uncovering her veil. As you joined her, she began. “Am I right to assume you are in love with The Doctor?”

The question hit you like a ton of bricks. You tried to speak, but no words came out.

“That is all of the answer I need. You aren’t the first, you know,” she explained, tracing the circles on the bed spread then looking back up to you. “I say this only out of kindness, Y/N. But he is not in love with you, nor will he ever be. He is a 2,500 year-old Time Lord. For you, a year passes. For him, a minute. You age and he simply changes faces. He’s.. a tempting man. Brilliant. Attractive. Clever. But you are just a human. A human who has the privilege of traveling with him in his tardis. A human who ages at a rapid rate compared to a Time Lord. Do you understand?” 

You could tell her intentions were pure as you looked up to Jenny standing behind her. 

“You don’t think I know that, Vastra?” you asked, dumbfounded. “I know he is not in love with me. But he loves me. I’m the best friend he has. I’d sacrifice my life for him a million times over and he knows it. So does the tardis. That’s why she didn’t..” You shake your head. “It doesn’t matter. I know where I stand. I know I’m just a human. Him just being there, just giving me his attention is enough. But thank you for reminding me.” You grab your clutch purse and exit the room, walking out the large Victorian doors. 

You knew everything she said was true, and you knew she wasn’t trying to be rude or unkind. But the words cut through you like a scorching hot knife. As far as the eye could see, multiple stagecoaches were going by, ladies were gossiping with each other or had a man on their arm. You couldn’t stand the sight of it, so you ran to the tardis.

You pulled out the tardis doors, running past the console, down the hallway and to your room. You flung off your dress, untied your corset and got out of the horrid shoes you had bought at the clothing emporium in town. You shrugged on the black crop top, overall shorts, and tied the black Adidas you had in your larger-than-life closet. A large sigh exited your mouth as you walked down two long hallways to get to the tardis library. A room The Doctor had only showed you four months ago. He had told you that Time Lords usually were only allowed in because of the things that had a residence there. But he trusted you.

You stepped onto the ladder, placing your hand on the wooden book shelf and pushing yourself down at least five feet to the fiction section of the library. All of The Doctor’s favorite books. You picked out a fantasy book that held magic, queens and romance. Then you carefully stepped down the ladder and sat on top of the huge wooden table.

200 pages in, you heard The Doctor’s voice.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yup. Reading.”

The Doctor walked over to you, softly taking the book away from you, getting your bookmark and closing the book. He sat it down on the table. 

“Can I show you something?”

“Fine.”

He helped you off the table, walking you to the console room. “Look out of the tardis doors. But be careful. We’re in open space.”

You must have been so wrapped up in your book that you didn’t notice the tardis moving. 

You saw something you had never seen before. Every night before bed, you look out space. Or you crawl up the highest building you can and watch the stars. But this was different. It was unexplainable. A million different chasms painted with yellow, blue and red. 

“What’s that?” You pointed to five clusters of rocks slowly coming together.

“A planet. It’s just forming. And it will be beautiful. I’ll take you there soon.”

The sight before you was almost too breathtaking to realize how close The Doctor was to you. You could feel his breath, his hand softly touching your hip. He tightened his grip, turning you around.

“I kissed you. Before we lost each other.”

You tried to divert your eyes, but he was so close to you. “You talked to Vastra.”

“No. But I heard you and her talking.”

Your eyes widened, and as you turned away he grabbed your arms, making you face him. “I don’t just love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you. Vastra was wrong. A year without you isn’t a minute to me. It’s a lifetime. But when I kissed you… it was different.”

“H-How?”

“I wasn’t an old man.” Now it’s his eyes that fall.

“Are you really that foolish? To think that it would make a difference? Have you ever considered the fact that I don’t care how old you look? That maybe all I want is to be with you no matter the circumstances?”

He looked at you for a moment in wonder. “No.”

“Kiss me, Doctor. Please.”

In a matter of milliseconds, his lips were on yours, his hands pushing against your waist. It wasn’t rushed this time, but it was just as passionate. He was the only man you’ve ever kissed, but you imagine that it wouldn’t feel this way with just anyone. It felt like sparks through your body, like little butterfly kisses against your skin. 

You didn’t want him to let go. And thankfully he never truly did.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! you can find me on tumblr and request any fic you'd like. [right here.](https://deeinthetardis.tumblr.com/)


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